The mourning: how to face the loss of a loved one

Published on: 28/12/2020

Lee in complete content in


the mourning

The anxiety that it emerges in the elaboration of a process of mourning it can interfere in the act of breathing. When anxiety is had can appear an acceleration of the respiratory rate (normal respirations are 18 for minute) and a sensation of breathlessness, which it causes that the person even more breathes quickly and you can produce one hyperventilation.

For this reason is advisable

  • Use techniques of relaxation to recover the usual respiratory rate. 
  • Use the technique of breathing diafragmática. This technique consists of to have conscience of that you can breathe from the diaphragm and more open lungs. It is owed to inspire the air for the nose and to expire it for the mouth slowly, listening at the same time as it enters and it goes out the air of the lungs. If you can not carry out only, is owed to search the assistance of the suitable person. 

  • Apply the technique of muscular relaxation progressive to relax muscles. Exercises are made tensionando and relaxing muscles gradually and is an effective technique to have conscience of the body and relax of general shape. 
    Adjunctive therapies: types
  • Search, provided that is possible, open spaces. The best is go out outdoors and in green spaces. 
  • Do physical exercise in a regular way.

Eat and drink

The process of mourning it can go accompanied by disorders in the diet, such as to eat too or less than eat which the body needs. In most cases, however, the most usual demonstration is the loss of hunger; is tended to eat little and ill. The sadness does to lose earn them so much of eating as of dedicating time to cook and prepare foodstuffs; but although are not had earn of eating, the body also needs foodstuffs. Additionally it is significant to drink liquids, although this is not so worrying because the anxiety, as it causes dry mouth, does that the person has the need of drinking.

For this reason is advisable

  • Focus on the act of eating and respecting the four daily meals, although it supposes a big effort. 
  • Dedicate time to every food. 
  • Eat accompanied, to prepare the table and to sit down. It is significant to share this time because it does that is eaten more and better.            
  • Delegate, if is possible, first few days the purchase and the preparation of the foodstuffs to the relatives or to the friends. The fact of receiving a ready-made meal with gentleness for another assistance person to eat better. 
  • Consume varied and drunk foodstuffs natural. 
  • Maintain a good hydration. 
  • Consume rich foodstuffs in vitamin C, given that it can help to improve the state of the immune system and the emotional stability. The vitamin C it participates in the activity of the system of defenses and active the production of hormones, of neuropeptides and neurotransmitters of the good humour and the motivation. But is owed to take into account that the vitamin C se oxida easily when it is in touch with oxygenate the, the heat, the light and the baking (starting from 25 minutes of baking to 100º C, foodstuffs lose until 50% of vitamin C). The main vitamin sources C are fruits as the kiwi, the lemon, the orange, the piña and the haft, and vegetables as the broccoli, the fresh parsley, the raw pepper, the cabbage of Brussels and watercresses.
  • Not ingesting alcohol, thus the dehydration and the headache is avoided. In addition, the alcohol excessively can delay the expression of the emotions.
  • Remember to follow general guidelines for one healthy diet.

Get around and maintain a bodily correct posture

The human body is designed for the movement. The sedentary lifestyle (lack of physical activity) increases the risk of illnesses. The physical activity it is essential to implement all bodies of the body and is good to alleviate the majority of illnesses. It is especially indicated to fight against the stress and to learn to control it.

When is done physical exercise the muscular tension is freed and the blood supply of the brain and the temperature of the body is increased, which does to increase the production of antistress neurotransmitters, that help to improve the mood. Neurotransmitters stimulate the pituitary gland, that it is the one responsible for to produce endorfinas, substances of effect euforizante that help to see things of good way.

The exercise increases the self-esteem and the autoconfidence because improvement the body image and the physical skills. As well as, means that the person dedicates time to take care the body and the mind. If the physical exercise also is done in a group, an important opportunity of socialisation is made good use.

For this reason is advisable

  • Leave home, only or accompanied, to walk, to stroll, to go to the cinema, etc. 
  • Not staying in the bed although the person sits down weak. Compel to go out. 
  • Provided that is been able to, it is appropriate to go to buy things that they are necessary at home to follow maintaining the life and habits of before the loss. 
  • If pets are had, specifically a dog, to make good use of it to leave home and take it to stroll.
  • Do moderate physical exercise. It is recommended to do physical exercise three times a week and 45 minutes per session. As well as, is better to do it accompanied or in a group in sessions directed.

Rest and sleep

During first few weeks of elaboration of the mourning there is a great one difficulty in order to be able to sleep and to reconcile the dream; it is normal to wake up often. Additionally is normal to dream with the person that it has died, to feel its voice and to have hallucinations. See or feel presences is something that is produced because of downloads of the brain before certain stimuli. Is owed to avoid the belief of that the dead person is intervening in our life.

For this reason is advisable

  • Secure that there is an atmosphere that it promotes the break. Some people prefer that it has a bit of light; other, on the other hand, prefer to maintain it all dark one. 
  • Use comfortable clothes and to maintain the room temperature to 24 or 25th C in summer and to 20 or 21st C in winter. 
  • Establish guidelines of hygiene of the dream. Before going to sleep, to take infusions relaxants, hot milk, to give a shower, etc.;
  • Promote routines for the preparation of the dream. Do those things that have been done always and that have helped to sleep. Go to bed to the usual time although it costs to sleep.   
  • Do activities relaxants before going to sleep, such as to read, to listen music, to do techniques of relaxation, etc. 
  • Query to the team of health if the insomnia persists although non pharmacological measures have been used. 
  • Provided that is possible, topcoat older people, to avoid to drink liquid starting from the five in the afternoon not to have to get up at night to go to the bathroom.

Communicate and interact socially

Communicate with the others is part of the human being and involves learning. Normalise which it sits down and is thought gives the opportunity to the other of being able to help. To some people them assistance to explain the history of the loss and to talk of emotions; on the other hand, other prefer not to talk of it. Nobody must feel pressured to talk, however it is significant to express feelings that causes a loss. When is not wanted to talk, you can use other resources to communicate, such as to write, to draw, to paint, to communicate not verbally (to cry, to express sadness, etc.). Express facts and the experiences it relieves and defuses the situation.

For this reason is advisable

  • Listen to the own body to take conscience of the sensations physics that they leave experiencing at all times in order to be able to attend better needs. 
  • Be attentive to which it is happening without judging as good or bad, since assistance to live the present and to be in the here and the now. 
  • Learn to accept that is been sad without judging in a continuing way. The severe trial with self is a source of tension, of overeffort and fight internal. 
  • Express feelings, worries, fears and desires. 
  • Talk of the past: express memories. Talk of the present: take decisions. Talk of the future: agree, to negotiate, to promise to take to end decisions taken.
  • Share own experiences with people that have suffered a similar situation.
  • Give time, is good to expect. Some decisions are had to leave to rest.
  • Read, to telephone to the friends, to write, to draw, to make a photograph album, to search information for Internet, to share video tapes where familiar memories are shown. 
  • Say good-bye and to see off the person that it has died. Think as to do it, to decide as to do it. Decide as it is wanted that is the ritual of the dismissal (intimate, participatory, etc.). Take those decisions that one believes that they produce the fair tribute to the person that it has died and not to delegate this activity. 
  • Maintain the contact with people and with the group of natural relationship. 
  • Ensure the maintenance of relational links reliable and affection. 
  • Participate in groups of mutual aid or in groups of mourning, groups that they serve to share experiences with regard to the loss and to its elaboration. 
  • Do exits to maintain the contact with the exterior, for example, go on a trip or to go to see to the relatives or to the friends that they live in another city. 
  • Request assistance to solve bureaucratic topics. 
  • In the case of children and adolescents, involve them in everything that they can do. Hide the death to the children is a reflection of the fear of adults. It is not necessary to say all the truth suddenly, but does not owe them to him to deceive and has them to him to go preparing for the change.
  • In the case of adolescents, to avoid that they occupy the place of the person that it has died to please to the adult.
  • Query bibliography on the topic of the mourning and the documentation of specialised autoassistance that it there is in the network.